Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Yep folks were back and it's new year 2005 to be exact. Who knows what the future will hold? The wise owls at Das Spunken have turned the dates round to 5002 for a quick look into the future.

The English army is disbanded and replaced by 10 women from the Cambridgeshire Womens Institute who make up the crack commando unit known as ???Slackwatch??? derived from the earlier ???Blackwatch???. The dysfunctional-bodied meccanoid bitches stand guard on the white cliffs of Dover ready to twat any foreign scummers that enter the UK. Each year they take great pleasure in showing off their android bodies in a calendar, which is sold for the ???Stop aids ravaging the Tory Party??? charity.

Some author writes a book called ???the Hirst code??? sells by the shitload.

The English tourist board announce plans that the UK will now be renamed Tia Maria in a bid to sound more attractive to foreign tourists.

Nike pioneers the first jet boot. An ethical version of the shoe is said to have the holographic face of a small south East Asian child smiling and throwing several grains to rice in the air. Nike spokesperson Dominic Rent said, ???The child is fucking overjoyed, this week he earned enough for over 3 meals, this represents Nikes commitment to children throughout the world???. Labour groups are said to be up in arms over what appears to be a chain around the child???s neck. Rent added, ???Vietnam is currently being gripped by a renaissance in so called ???bling??? culture. The child is simply making a fashion statement???.

Those below the height of 9ft are considered dysfunction and sent to work in Easy Jet call centres.

The third coming of Christ is deemed to be Celine Dion, after the Canadian president reminded his nation that the singer had been alive for over 3000 years. One Dionist ritual involves the selection of a young female virgin from Doncaster; she is forced to dance to the hallucinogenic sounds of Dion whilst being fed olives until she literally bursts. Revellers then drink her secreted oily remains whilst worshiping the bent toothed deity.

On a brighter note Uranus is colonised and still proves to be the most popular gay holiday destination of the 5000s. Peter Pink a spokesperson for Uranus Tourist board says ???Most gays feel at home in your anus.???


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Celion Dionmust die

23 February 2005 at 22:17  

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