Friday, November 12, 2004

Meatloaf & Pirate Cyber Session

Hard Rocker
Originally uploaded by das spunken.

DAVERAVE recently sent this transcript of a conversation with a young lady from Mid West America. This truly is one of the funniest things we at the SPUNKEN have read this year. (The picture right is one one which was sent to sweet17) Do you think it looks like meatloaf?

sweet17 - is a poor innocent girl that was taken in by the devious gent.

Read ON:

sweet17: Hi
DAVERAVE: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
DAVERAVE: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
DAVERAVE: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
sweet17: nevermind your a jerk
DAVERAVE: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
DAVERAVE: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
DAVERAVE: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
DAVERAVE: Don't fucking laugh at me!
DAVERAVE: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
DAVERAVE: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
DAVERAVE: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
DAVERAVE: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
DAVERAVE: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
DAVERAVE: It's kind of embarrasing.
DAVERAVE: I had blow up a government building by accident when a recent firework party got out of control!
sweet17: You are fucking mad.
DAVERAVE: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
DAVERAVE: Are you one of them?
sweet17: One of what?

DAVERAVE: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
DAVERAVE: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
DAVERAVE: Hurry up.
DAVERAVE: Are you there?
DAVERAVE: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something.
DAVERAVE: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
DAVERAVE: When really you were notifying the authorities.
DAVERAVE: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
DAVERAVE: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
DAVERAVE: Most cops aren't
DAVERAVE: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
DAVERAVE: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
DAVERAVE: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
DAVERAVE: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
DAVERAVE: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
DAVERAVE: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
DAVERAVE: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
DAVERAVE: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
DAVERAVE: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
DAVERAVE: The profile pic is a fake.
DAVERAVE: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like Meatloaf lol
DAVERAVE: Well, you look like you ATE Meatloaf
DAVERAVE: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
DAVERAVE: I was going to until I saw that picture
DAVERAVE: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
DAVERAVE: And calling me the Meatloaf doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were shitting me!
DAVERAVE: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
DAVERAVE: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
DAVERAVE: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
DAVERAVE: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
DAVERAVE: You're right. I'm not.
sweet17: I'm done with you
DAVERAVE: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
DAVERAVE: Wait a sec
DAVERAVE: We got off on the wrong foot.
DAVERAVE: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
DAVERAVE: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
DAVERAVE: You heard me.
DAVERAVE: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
DAVERAVE: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
DAVERAVE: Well I'm not like most men.
DAVERAVE: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
DAVERAVE: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
DAVERAVE: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
sweet17: cause
DAVERAVE: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: . You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
sweet17: well its strange to me
DAVERAVE: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
DAVERAVE: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
DAVERAVE: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
DAVERAVE: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
DAVERAVE: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
DAVERAVE: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
sweet17: You can't be serious
DAVERAVE: Oh yes I am!
DAVERAVE: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
DAVERAVE: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
DAVERAVE: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
DAVERAVE: Ok. Here we go.
DAVERAVE: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
DAVERAVE: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
DAVERAVE: I softly begin to tongue your wet kitty.
DAVERAVE: I run my tounge up and down your smooth clit.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
DAVERAVE: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
DAVERAVE: You gotta do better than that!
DAVERAVE: Your picture was really bad.
DAVERAVE: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
DAVERAVE: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
DAVERAVE: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
DAVERAVE: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
DAVERAVE: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
DAVERAVE: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
DAVERAVE: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
DAVERAVE: You begin to sway back and forth.
DAVERAVE: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
DAVERAVE: ...still limp
DAVERAVE: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
DAVERAVE: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
DAVERAVE: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
DAVERAVE: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
DAVERAVE: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
DAVERAVE: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
DAVERAVE: I ram it up your ass.
DAVERAVE: Then I pour hot caramel over your head.
DAVERAVE: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
DAVERAVE: I kick you in the face!
DAVERAVE: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
DAVERAVE: Your parrot flys away.
DAVERAVE: ...going limp again.


Blogger das stefan said...


12 November 2004 at 16:29  
Blogger A...manda said...

Hey, I'd love to chat with you sometime. Give me an IM sometime! Lol.

That was pure genius!

13 November 2004 at 19:09  

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