Monday, November 22, 2004

CHAV AID - These people need your help!

Kylie, Sharon & Trace
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Facts & Figures -UK Chav Nation

-UK female teenages have the highest recorded rates of teenage pregnancy in Europe.

-UK female teenages have the 2nd highest booze intake.

- UK female teenages have the 2nd highest drugs intake.

Kylie's Story

Kylie was named after Australian happy go lucky popstar Kylie Minogue. Unlike her namesake she is anything but happy at the moment. Kylie suffers from a condition known as "Chav lady burns". This serious condition is brought about by serial carpet burns. The flesh on Kylies knee is so worn a doctor described it recently as being "similair to that of a dead pensioners knee" Kylie drinks babycham to forget about the pain of not having one single Burberry garment. Help us to put this problem in check!

Sharons Story

Sharon first had sex at the age of twelveteen when several chav gentlemen at her local pub were raising money for a comic relief event. Sharon is now sixteen and boasts a larger collection of crabs than the National Maritime Museum. Her hobbies include "knobbin lads" "robbin sweets" and "gobbin on pensioners from the Hypermarket roof". With your help we can change Sharons life and get her a job as an Easy Jet check in lady.

Trace's Story

Trace's life is convulsed with problems. At a young age of twelveteen she developed a condition known as "McDonalds fertile" this serious condition is brought about by hanging outside Mcdonalds. Doctor Benzo Shadcock explains "The victim literally lingers outside Mcdonalds for so long that the CJD elements in the meat produce a sensory overload in the fertility process, rendering the victim so fertile that onlookers literally have to touch her to conceive". Trace has had five children all of which had to be breastfed on happy meals until the age of 7. Give to Chav aid and help Trace buy here childrens Mcdonalds xmas meal


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22 October 2005 at 21:18  

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