Tuesday, October 26, 2004

LETTER FROM CHRISTIAN CROSS DRESSER TO WONCC


das_0000_Layer 3
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Hey, hey hey he only took one day to return his reply. See Below for Randall Waynes return email. (I can confirm that he is not related to John Wayne)


Hi Lesley,

Thanks for writing and for sharing your kind words. It means so much to me that my testimony helped your wife understand about your struggle.

I think it is important to understand that freedom is possible. My heart is to minister to those who seek freedom. In other words, I would be happy to minister, but not to stay in the stronghold. It seems that there are many on the "pro-CD" side and I try to add my little part to counter-balance their message.

Feel free to link to my testimony from your web site.

About the "Wayne" question, no relation but I agree, he was a fine American actor!

I'll be praying with you in this.

In His grace,

Randy

Monday, October 25, 2004

WINNER OF THE MOST DEPRAVED WOMAN IN THE UK


das
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Congratulations to Sheila 28 (dont know whether thats stone or years) of Doncaster for winning hands down.

This picture was the only one that could appear on the site. The others were to candid like Sheila's message, which read

I do anything W/S, anal, humiliation, light S&M, 2,3,4 somes. I really wanna meet you and teach you what a real woman can do. Email me and we can meet. hotsheila@yahoo.co.uk

Short but sweet, I want know what the humiliation bit is all about? I cant really think ofanything more humiliating than a 28 stone woman dumping her lunch on your chest. (Well apart from being a young conservative)

Anyway Sheila 28 stone truckers wife from Sunny Doncaster you are victorious in our quest for the UKs most depraved woman.

LETTER FROM WONCC TO CHRISTIAN CROSSDRESSER


trump_jesus
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
As promised WONCC is seeking it's first member: Stay tuned to the SPUNKEN for Randalls reply:


Dear Randall,

I am writing from the UK after reading your inspirational document on
Christianity and Cross-dressing. Ever since the age of 21 I thought
that I was different and by the age of 22 I was occasionally wearing my
wives under garments and waiting for her to go to work to try on her
dresses. Like you I had no feelings for men, I remained a happy and
committed member of my local church.

I was wrapped with guilt every time I went to church, I would agonise
over the scriptures for hours to try and find out whether I was a
sinner. I lived with this immense pain for over 5 years until one
Friday night my wife (Janet) was going out with friends, so I decided to
take the opportunity to try on Janets entire wardrobe. To cut along
story short she arrived back home unexpected to find me wearing her
stockings and suspenders and her best blouse. (a cream off the shoulder
number with exceptional sequin work)

She nearly threw me out, said that I made her sick and we nearly got
divorced. She finally began to understand my predicament, when I gave
her a copy of your article and she threw her arms around me and we cried
for hours. We are still very much in love and have a happy marriage and
I would like to thank you for making this possible.

I still love to cross dress in my free time but unfortunately am
registered disabled now. (You try getting an A-line pleated skirt on,
whilst sitting in a wheelchair, it???s difficult.)

I am currently setting up a support group called Worldwide Official
Network of Cross-dressing Christians (WONCC) to help people like you and
me that have a belief in Jesus come to terms with the issues faced by
cross-dressing adults. I would love you to be a Patron of WONCC so
other cross dressers could read your inspirational words on the subject.

Yours thankfully


Kenneth Strands (Lesley)
WONCC


P.S My wife wants to know if you are a relative of John Wayne who was
also an American.
--

Cross Dressing for Jesus

Some of you may have noticed the link on the last "Das Spunken Sites of the week" about Cross dressing Christians. Well the fine people at DAS SPUNKEN have decided to form a help group called WONCC which stands for the Worldwide Official Network of Christian Cross Dressers.

Anyway the wise folk at DAS SPUNKEN have decided to write to Mr Cross dresser to ask him if he wants to join WONCC. His orginal document can be seen by clicking on "Cross Dressing for Jesus". His name is Randall Wayne and he could be a relative of John Wayne. The letter will follow in the next post.



Tuesday, October 19, 2004

A beginners guide to suicide bombing


terrorism
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Safety First!
The freedom fighter or suicide bomber is one of the most dangerous professions known to man, exceeded only by the professional murder victim. Most of the suicide bombers workplace casualties could be avoided with a few simple safety precautions.

1) Choose your bomb - the first-time suicide bomber death rate is well over 90% because novice bombers want to dive right in with the big explosives. Start with two or three sticks of dynamite (leave plastique and HMX to the experts) and work your way up from there until you reach your comfort level. The best way to determine your starting comfort level is to place a test charge underneath a mattress and detonate it while you lay on top. If you are propelled more than six feet in the air, the detonation may cause serious injury when worn in a bomb vest.

2) Keep it simple every bomber wants to personalise their bombs with shrapnel nails, glass, etc. but few of them know how to properly align shrapnel bits. If you arent sure what this entails, then keep your bomb limited to explosive, casing, and detonator.

3) Practice makes perfect when you detonate your bomb, a thousand things will be going through your mind. If you let anxiety and distraction diminish your attention, the detonation will turn your insides into an mashed up puree. Practice by detonating at least three smaller charges before setting off the big one in public. Start with a quarter charge and work your way up to at least three quarters of the final charge.

Follow these steps and your martyrs death rate will plummet from 99+% to 3.7%. Of course, we dont condone the killing of innocent people no matter how safely you detonate your bomb, so make sure your victims are infidels, or Geri Halliwell.

Friday, October 15, 2004

COMING SOON: YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO JOIN WONCC (Worldwide Official Network of Christian Crossdressers)


trump_jesus
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Get redeemed at Das Spunken and join WONCC.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

WILLIE WANKER AND THE FUDGE PACKING FACTORY


94kitty.GIF
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
E-THREE THE EXTRA TESTICLE, TITALLICA - MASTER OF PUPPIES and MAY THE FORESKIN BE WITH YOU are just some of the great titles on show at 100 Greatest Adult film titles of all time.

Hit the link and check out the rest

SEARCH FOR THE MOST DEPRAVED WOMEN IN THE UK


women
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
The first of only 2 that responded in the ladies section therefore the runner up.

Hi
readur ad and visualising about your tounge made me horny
Are u married?
can you accomodate?
give me ur Cell number?
looking forward to your reply
J

She wants my cell number, How does she know that I am in one of her majesties hotels? Anyway good effort and your the runner up.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

DAS SPUNKEN COUNCILLOR OF THE WEEK

Patrick Danaher
Party: Fianna Fail
Ward: Ballyshannon town council

Patrick likes to smoke the green stuff in his home town of Ballyshannon. This tranquil smoky Irish town was alarmed to see Patrick putting a planning application for a 15ft monument to the Kit Kat Chunky. An Irish newspaper said the following:


A Co Donegal councillor has revealed that he plans to go to the High Court to appeal his second conviction for cannabis possession in the space of a year.

29-year-old Patrick Danaher, a member of Fianna Fail and vice-chairman of the Ballyshannon town council, was fined 300 euro following the conviction on January 3rd.

He was also convicted of the same charge last February. Mr Danaher has vehemently opposed calls for his resignation from the council and from Fianna Fail, though he was stripped of the party whip following his first conviction.

He got the boot from the council when he introduced the idea of having 35, 24 hour confectionary stores on Ballyshannon high street. When Patrick put through a declaration stating that all council documentation was to be printed on king size green rizlas his colleagues suspiscion was finally aroused.

Patrick ganja god of the green shamrock land may your marijuana madness reap powerful rewards.

Das Spunken sites of the week


shrews7
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Sites that are making out pockets bulge with proudness this week include:

www.whitehouse.org
Spoof website for the whitehouse

www.tshirthell.com
Superman remembered

www.gaydeceiver.com/misc/hell/
Design your own hell

www.poopreport.com/
Poo bible

members.tripod.com/~cl0ned/poop.html
A dictionary of shite

www.stonewallrevisited.com/pages/randall_w.html
Crossdressing for Jesus

quizilla.com/users/RolandofGilead14/quizzes/Do%20you%20hate%20Phil%20Collins%3F/
Phil Collins quiz

http://thesurrealist.co.uk
Surreal happenings

COMING SOON; THE HOTMAIL CELEBRITY TRAIL


carlos
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
As part of our open season on celebrity loathing, the wise monkeys as DAS SPUNKEN are about to set sail on the hotmail celebrity trail. Does Eltonjohn@hotmail.co.uk exist. What will judelaw@hotmail.co.uk have to say. Finally how will Danebowers@hotmail.co.uk react when we tell him his career has less chance of taking off than Christopher Reeve.

Keep upto date with the trail and see if these celebs do have hotmail accounts or whether behind the name lingers a celebrity obsessed psychopath.

If you have any celebrity hotmail requeste (i.e Jimmy Nail, Beadle) leave them in the comments section and we will oblige.

Why DAS SPUNKEN hates celebrities


britney3-2
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
The full explanation can be seeen in ther comments section below.

I hate them so much I have decided to truly study the mind of a celebrity fan by taking 10 a-z list celebs and trying to contact them using just the glorious interweb. My exploits will be posted weekly to everyones favourite webshite.

We at DAS SPUNKEN want to tread the fine line between celebrity worship, obsession, compulsion and stalking. Anyway the 10 celebs will be announced soon.

To any man that thinks Britney Spears is worth more than a ??10/10 minute Tesco car park knee trembler, then just look at this picture. The cosmetic industry is a wonderful thing (appart from Mr Jacksons surgeon)

Friday, October 01, 2004

SEARCH FOR THE MOST DEPRAVED WOMEN IN THE UK


kevin
Originally uploaded by das spunken.
Here is the advert and picture used in the ladies search. The text read:

Are you getting the wrong tongue?

When God was giving out tongues, I was at the front of the que. I am an expert with my tongue and I will gurantee that I can fulfil all your carnal desires. I am looking for a lady any age, size, sex race to use my god given gift upon.
Email me now you wont be dissapointed.

Stay tuned to see the 2 that responded.