Tuesday, August 24, 2004

KEN A SPUNDS APPLICATION LETTER TO BECOME A SMACK CONVERTERS FRANCHISEE

Time to send Ken A Spunds application to Smack Converters via uksupportcentre@cashconverters.net

Smack converters say that

Our existing franchisees come from a diverse range of backgrounds, their individual endeavours together with the proven support systems, experience and encouragement offered by Cash Converters has resulted in the establishment of many hundreds of successful franchises throughout the world.

Lets see what they make of Ken's application:


Dear Cash Converter,

Application for Cash Converters Franchisee

My name is Mr Kenneth A Spunds, I am enquiring about the excellent opportunity to become a franchisee of one of your stores.

I have lived in London for 17 years, I originally moved to London to join the merchant navy. I ended up running a very successful grocery business before ill health forced me to retire early.

Now at the age of 68, I feel I have a good head for figures and I like to keep active by doing word search puzzles. I have completed over 4000 to date and have even designed several searches that have been published by the Readers Digest magazine.

I think that I would be an asset to Cash Converters, because I would give people only the smallest amount for their goods. I recently went into one of your stores and watched a young single mother pawning her ring for money. The sales assistant was very kind and gave her ?10.00. I think in business there is no room for sentimental claptrap and I would have only given her ?3.00.

If I were successful I would keep gypsies out of the shop and also ban east
Europeans because they are always starting wars. I would also offer complimentary cups of soups on cold days. I do vote conservative and Margaret Thatcher was always my hero. Maybe it was because we both were greengrocers and our partners were both called Denis.

I am handicapped and have a fully functioning mobility vehicle, so attracting fellow disablists is a primary concern. Maybe I could go around your other stores and give the managers lessons on how to get the handicapper?s money. I do hope my immobile legs this wont affect my application.

Finally my hobbies are cleaning my house, watching TV especially Last of the Summer Wine (of which I am the leader of the Last of the Summer wine London branch appreciation society) and tending my pigeon ?Hawkins? who is 7 years (76 in human years).

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours sincerely


Kenneth A Spunds Eqs.

2 Comments:

Blogger Ambrose said...

Awesome stuff, mate. The best post so far. Has it been submitted yet?

24 August 2004 at 13:29  
Blogger Das Spunken said...

Ken said that it went at lunch time. He wheeled his way down the high street and posted it himself

24 August 2004 at 15:31  

Post a Comment

<< Home